it’s funny how I have my ups and downs with tumblr, but I always eventually come crawling back when i feel the need to write something of substance.
something that needs to be described in more than 160 characters, but that doesn’t necessarily need to be broadcast to every person who has ever known me in my life and linked their profile to mine.
tumblr, you are a godsend.
Interim is coming to an end, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. At first
, I was excited. I felt like this month had done it’s job and I was really honestly ready to go back to school.
Then the pictures were posted.
There is a travel experience offered at my college that it unlike any other. Two and a half weeks to be spent on the open sea, sailing the Caribbean as the crew of a Schooner sailboat. It is the absolute worst and absolute best experience of your entire life.
…or so I hear.
see, this “trip” cost a whopping $4700/person, and considering I barely have two nickels to rub together, there was no possible way in hell that I was going to be able to go. and I wanted to. SO BADLY. but when it came down to it, everybody whose parents could simply sign a check and wave them goodbye sailed off into the sunset without me.
Now, I don’t mean to make this an invitation to my pity party. Actually, when all was said and done, I actually felt a sense of relief that I wasn’t going. Maybe it was because I didn’t really want to go in the first place, maybe I was just glad to be free of the financial stress. I guess I’ll never really know.
what I DO know, is that as I’m looking at all of the pictures being posted on Facebook, and thinking about all of the incredible memories that are shared by all who were there, I’m angry. Not because I didn’t go, or because my parents didn’t have the ability to sign a fat check, but because I didn’t fight. I barely even tried to find another way to pay. Maybe it was all part of “the plan”, but I’ve definitely learned something from this.
At some point in my life, I will sail on a boat. At some point in my life, I will have more fucking money than I will know what to do with. And even further, I will NEVER EVER allow myself to miss out on a life changing experience just because it doesn’t come as easy for me as it does for someone else.
I’m too special to not live an outstanding life, and someday my dreams, my life and myself will be extraordinary.